In an ideal world, everywhere we go, our waiters will have charisma. They will be able to make us feel at ease from the moment we sit down to the moment we leave, and perhaps even turn a bad day around. However, how much charisma is too much?
It is of the utmost importance, especially regarding your guests, to tread the fine line between just enough and too much very carefully.
Now, let me make it abundantly clear that I am not saying that service staff need to walk on eggshells during the entire service for fear of offending guests. I am merely suggesting that a little common sense should be used. It is also very important to realise that our guests hail from a multitude of cultures and walks of life, therefore what may seem completely harmless to you may be wildly offensive to somebody else.
There are a few rules that I like to follow throughout my service, and I think that others should follow suit. This will not, of course, serve as an extensive list of dos and don’ts (otherwise this article would be far too long).
1) Never assume
Do not assume that if a man and a lady are sitting together at the table, that the man will pay the bill (unless of course he was the one that asked for it). If in doubt, leave the bill in the middle of the table. Never assume that a lady is pregnant unless she tells you or that (if she is) that the man sitting beside her is the father (again, unless you are told so). These are just a few of the many examples I can give where assumptions lead to trouble.
2) Do not impose your cultural expectations/norms onto others
It is bad enough to wrongfully assume, but to make inappropriate comments regarding said assumptions is even worse. Do not comment on the personal lives of your guests unless they invite you to do so (and even then, tread lightly). For instance, do not ask how long the pair at the table have been together for if you are not even sure yourself if they are together (and even if you are sure, I do not believe that this is something that we should be particularly concerned about, unless of course the guest wishes to share such information with us).
I remember one day when I was sitting in a fine dining establishment enjoying my meal, when one of the waiters approached me and proceeded to ask me what my occupation was as well as where I was from, following with “No, I mean originally” when I stated that I was from London. If that irritated me, I could only imagine how other, perhaps less patient, guests may be feeling.
3) Read the room, or in this case the table
Finally, I am by no means saying that you should never converse or joke with guest, just tread very carefully. A comment, joke or question that seems perfectly innocent to you can come across as incredibly irritating and downright offensive to your guest.
Always remember that one wrong move, or in this case comment, can turn a guest’s experience from great to terrible in a flash.
